The Color of Rain

So just when I was going around mocking a work day filled with Lifetime movies, yesterday I watched The Color of Rain, a made-for-Hallmark movie from 2014. I had it on as background noise while I was watching some graphic design how-to videos, but the story pulled me in.




It's based a memoir written by Michael and Gina Spehn, a widow and a widower who lost their spouses around the same time and were connected by their grief. Within the year, they'd fallen in love and were married.

The movie brought up the opposition the couple encountered and showed how when someone dies, people who've brought over a casserole feel entitled to voice their opinions on how the family moves forward.   

Hardly anyone ever talks about this aspect of widow/widowerhood so it was refreshing to see it onscreen. I've just started reading their memoir since I want to find out more about their story. 



Throughout my life, I've always found it to be such a comfort when I hear someone tell a story that mirrors something happening in my life. I remember as a child, struggling with something and then reading a story in my aunt's copy of Woman's Day magazine that caused me to run into the living room and shout "this is happening to somebody else too." It's not so much about misery loves company, but about the true meaning of empathy, which BrenĂ© Brown defines as "communicating that incredibly healing message of 'you're not alone.'"

I loved the message of the film that hard things do not have to define us even when people find it uncomfortable for us to find happiness after loss. We are more than our disappointments and we are more than our scars. We can reframe our narrative any time we want to and find our happily ever after in the end. 

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6 comments:

  1. So interesting Jen, I want to see this movie now, or better yet read the memoir.
    I have a theory about the way people who are on the periphery react to loss, devastation. It's not part of their everyday life so when they see the person at the centre it all comes back fresh and new with the loss, they then somehow make judgements from that point of view. It's very damaging to the person who's been experiencing the loss fully, and who may be in a stage of suffering or healing (or somewhere in between, or maybe they have in fact healed and hopefully moved past). It's quite terrible really, and not helpful. It's almost a case of "they know not what they do"... but they should.
    It's almost as if their own narrative is stuck because they have such a minor role in the story ! Hope that makes sense. xx

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    1. Dani, I think that your theory makes perfect sense. It explains why the people most involved have moved forward and those who are on the outer edges seem stuck in the past. I'll have to view these people with compassion I suppose. Sigh. xoxo

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  2. Hi Jen, I wonder if you'd be interested in reading a series that's currently in The Guardian/Observer - a weekly column called Widower of the Parish. The writer lost his wife last year and he writes about all sorts of things that come up as he and his children cope with their loss. Here's a link:
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/series/widower-of-the-parish

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    1. Thank you so much, Patricia. I'm going to read that for sure. Thank you for the link! Xo

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    2. Update: The column is terrific! A great read for anyone. He's a wonderful writer.

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    3. I agree Jen! Glad you enjoyed it.

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Thank you, darling!

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